Goofy Bonus #18 - Happy St. Patrick's Day

A couple of goofy-assed Photoshop photos for St. Patricks day.


Marty "The Quiet Man"




and Marty "Michael Flatuence"

And that's my 100th post to this train-wreck of a blog. Ack.

Slainte!

Goofy #74 - Choke

If I recall correctly, I did this sketch after seeing Madonna singing on TV and she started to cough and hack a little bit in the middle of the song. I can't remember the damn show, but this cartoon is proof it did happen . . . in my mind at least.
(Felt tip pen on scrap paper.)

Goofy #73 - Grandpa

Another self-portrait . . . I'm stunned! Back when I was first working for my current employer, one of my co-workers at the time likened me to an old man. They went so far as to call me Grandpa Marty. To show my self-deprecating sense of humor, I whipped-up this sketch. It's eerily close to reality today. Turn down that music and get off my lawn!
(Sharpee, highlighters, and Design markers on scrap paper.)

Goofy #72 - Gumby

This one may be the oldest sketch yet! I did this one while I was still in college 27 years ago. Like most geeks back in those days, I loved Monty Python's Flying Circus. One of my favorite characters from the show was the loud Gumby guy. Look at this doodle and scream, "My brain hurts!"
(Felt tip on drawing paper.)

Goofy Bonus #17 - Punisher Commission

A fresh one for y'all! This is a low res version of a Punisher commission I finished recently.
It's a little deviation from my usual stuff style-wise, but I thought it fit the character.
(Micron pens and brush pens on drawing paper.)

Goofy #71 - Old Vet

This doodle was done after seeing an old vet handing out poppies at the local Walmart.
(Pencil on note pad.)

Goofy #70 - Runners

This sketch was done for T-shirts and advertising for a local 5K run/walk when I was at the ad agency 20 years ago.
(Rotring drawing pen on drawing paper.)

Goofy #69 - Stress

This sketch was done about 10 years ago for a company memo on stress management. I really like the loose line work on this one.
(Felt tip on drawing paper.)

Goofy #68 - Witch

This ink sketch was done when working for the ad agency about 18 years ago. The customer had a shop that made bagel sandwiches and they wanted a witch mascot for advertising. This drawing was submitted with a group of others, and this one got the axe for some reason. I can't figure that one out. It just screams "BAGEL SANDWICHES" to me.
(Rotring drawing pen on drawing paper.)

Goofy #67 - Kiss the Pig

This sketch was done about 10 years ago for a local charity. The charity was raising money by having people donate money to have local dignitaries kiss a pig. This sketch was reproduced on small pins that were handed out to anyone that donated. Any resemblance to Anna Nicole Smith or Maggie Gyllenhaal is purely coincidental.
(Pencil on drawing paper.)

Goofy #66 - Golf

A Friday afternoon gag cartoon! I drew this one while working in the archives. I was fortunate in having the men's room right next door. I would hear things. Horrible things sometimes. And sometimes, funny things. This is one of the funny things. I lifted the dialog for this cartoon straight from the joke I overheard told in the gent's rest room. Honest to God bathroom humor.
(Rotring drawing pen on drawing paper, scanned and lettered in Photoshop.)

Goofy #65 - Ollie

The subject matter dates this one. This is a doodle of Ollie North during the Iran Contra days back in the 80s. It's a small sketch done a very small post-it.
(Felt tip pen on a neon-colored post it.)

Goofy Bonus #16 - Cap's Dead

It looks like Marvel Comics killed Captain America. Or did they? That remains to be seen. In response I whipped-up this cartoon after hearing the frenzied wailing of the fan boys.
(Felt tip pen and Sharpee on scrap paper.)

Goofy #64 - Rat

Here's another sketch I did for ads for a local bar. In this case the bar is called the "Rathskeller". Obviously they didn't go with the actual rat graphic, but it amused me so I kept it.. Adding the wingtip shoes was my attempt to give the varmint some class.
(Felt tip pen on drawing paper.)

Goofy #63 - Shiot

This cartoon is probably one of the more disturbing things I've ever done. About 5 years ago, a website called Shiot Crock had an online cartoon submission thing. The catch was that you had to use 4 randomly selected words or phrases in your cartoon. You got the 4 words by rolling 4 virtual "DaDa Dice". For my submission, my 4 words were PANTS, STUTTERING, HUNGRY DOG, and SWEATY PALMS. Most folks actually incorporated the 4 words into their dialog, not me. I still don't know what guided my hand on this one.
(Rotring Drawing pen and Rapidograph pen on drawing paper, scanned and colored in Photoshop.)

Goofy #62 - Chiggers

This one really isn't a doodle at all. I was inspired to do it while enjoying a handful of Swedish Fish one day. "Why Swedish Fish?", I asked myself. Then the idea of Swedish Chiggers popped into my head. It struck me so funny I started laughing like a ree-ree. Using the awesome power of modern computer technology, I set out to create the Swedish Chiggers packaging, which you can see here.
(Created in CorelDRAW and exported to Photoshop.)

Goofy #61 - Loach

A gag sketch this time around. When I worked at the ad agency 20 years ago, we would sometimes get lunch from the Chinese restaurant around the corner. One day the boss screamed and was storming around the office in a fit because he found something extra in his won-ton soup. I drew this cartoon to mark the occasion.
(Felt tip on drawing paper.)

Goofy #60 - Gemini

Today's sketch is more of an artsy-fartsy thing. When I was kid I was absolutely enthralled by the US space program. I just loved (and still do love) anything related to space flight. I'd spend hours and hours researching and drawing all the spacecraft. What made that possible is that I built scale model kits of all the various spacecraft, so I got to know them inside and out. This sketch is a study for a larger drawing I did back in 1987. It's a sketch of Astronaut Ed White spacewalking during the Gemini 4 mission.
(Rapidograph pen and marker on sketch pad paper.)

Goofy Bonus #15d - The Kollective Brain

This final bonus sketch is of the band's other founding member and rythym section, Marty Devoid on the skins. Yeah, I used to be that skinny. Through these 45 year old eyes, we don't look quite as cool and hip now as we thought we did back then. At least WE didn't buy our punk from Hot Topic.
(Felt tip pens on drawing paper then photo-stated and pasted-up on board.)

Goofy Bonus #15c - The Kollective Brain

This is the first of two drawings of the founding members of the Kollective Brain. This is Charlie, the lead vocalist and lead guitar player. You could tell we're punks because we're not smiling. The angry young man bit and all that, ya know. We went from being a Ramones/Black Flag/Fear/DK type of band to a Husker Du/Minutemen/X band. Conceptually anyways.
(Felt tip pen on drawing paper then photo-stated and pasted-up on board.)

Goofy Bonus #15b - The Kollective Brain

This second piece of art was a smaller sticker that was better suited to sticking on a shirt on jacket. The "1001 Mega Tons" was the title of one of our songs that never was. This was printed on the same stock and in the same color as the bumper stickers.
(Grease pencil and marker on drawing paper, photo-stated and pasted-up on board.)

Goofy Bonus #15a - The Kollective Brain

A multi-post Friday bonus! Way back in the days following my graduation from high school in '79, my friend Charlie and I decided to start our own punk band. Neither one of us had any musical training, but that shouldn't stop punks, right? While spending many hours trying to come up with a name, Charlie said, "Come on, let's use our collective brain to figure this out." The Kollective Brain was born. We never learned to play any instruments, but we lived off the punk hipness of the-band-that-never-was for quite a few years. Because I worked in a print shop when not at school at the the time, I was able to work on some of the band's image pieces. We printed-up fliers and stickers, and here for the first time in almost 30 years are some of those materials. First is a scan of the original artwork for our bumper stickers. They were printed in a blood red ink on crack and peel stock. Since it wasn't 1984 yet we thought that sounded both cool and foreboding for a tour date.
(Grease pencil on drawing paper, photo-stated and pasted-up on board with Letraset lettering added.)

Goofy #59 - Robber

This sketch was done for one of the school's textbooks about 17 years ago. I think it was for an English text in our High School GED program, but I'm not totally sure. What I can recall is that there was a passage in the book about a bank robbery. I also remember that this was later shaded with Zipatone screens for print reproduction. EDIT: I've added a color version used for online distribution.
(Felt tip markers on drawing paper.)

Goofy #58 - Alien Goes to the Dentist

Another ol' chestnut! It's very freaky that this particular 'toon was next in the rotation because I just re-watched the original Alien movie on cable this past week. This sketch is a wacky "what if" from 17 years ago, again during my archive clerk days. Those days now seem very "Harvey Pekarish" to me.
(Felt tip on scrap paper.)

Goofy Bonus #14 - Dave

A bonus sketch since it's Comic Book Wednesday! I made this doodle on my comic book order form about 10 years ago. Valentine's day just happened to fall on a Wednesday that year. Dave, the shop owner, was equally flattered and disturbed.
(Gel pen on comic order form and photocopied)

Goofy #57 - COPS

What if they shot the TV show COPS in Russia? That's the question I asked myself about 20 years ago and drew this cartoon. This was way back in the Commie CCCP days.
(Felt tip pen on scrap paper, xerox copied and colored with design marker.)

Goofy #56 - 12 Angry Men

Another gag panel. I drew this one back in my archive clerk days. It still makes me laugh. I think I like the guy curled-up on the floor the most. NO YOU!
(Sharpee on scrap paper.)

Goofy Bonus #13 - Finger

Okay, it's official. I'm fuggin' sick of fuggin' snow. I didn't know who to complain to about it this morning, so I flipped the bird towards the heavens.
(Sharpee on scrap paper and colored in Photoshop.)

Goofy #55 - Beer

This sketch I did for a series of advertisements for a local bar. The bar has long since closed, but the drawing remains. On the left is the original drawing and on the right is a photostatic copy shaded with Zipatone screen tints. Old school baby.
(Rapidograph pens on drawing paper, stated and shaded with screens tints.)

Yow! This has been going on for a month?

Okay, I've done what I set out to do. I've posted dumb ass cartoons to this blog for a solid month. Somehow I don't feel satisfied. Tell you what, I'll continue this goofy dog and pony show for a little while longer, or as long as my archive box of shitty sketches holds out. There are HUNDREDS of drawings in there, so everyone is in for a long and bumpy ride. Don't say I didn't warn ya. Oh, and by the way, click on stuff you see in the margins. These blogs don't grow on trees ya know.

Goofy #54 - Hank the Fetus

Because I love you all so much, a Sunday double. You're welcome! This one is another strip that never was. It was done back when I first started at the office but had a desire to do something comic related on the side. As usual, I did nothing with it. Hank is still one of my favorites.
(Sharpee on drawing paper.)

Goofy #53 - The King and a Baby

Here's a sketch I did for a company project requesting baby pictures. Everyone else submitted their real baby pictures, I submitted this one of Elvis and me as a baby. I used an old piece of board to get the yellowed effect. I have a definite preoccupation with Elvis, as you'll see with future drawings.
(Sharpee and greyscale design markers on old cardboard.)

Goofy #52 - Red Barons

Hey kids, it's a Saturday matinee double feature! This sketch was my attempt at designing a mascot for the local AAA minor league baseball team, the Scranton/Wilkes-Barre Red Barons. It's all moot now since they've left town and the fuggin' Yankees moved in. Maybe I'll pitch a mascot drawing of a huge schlong for them.
(Felt tip markers, design markers and brush on drawing paper.)

Goofy #51 - Punch

Here's a quicky sketch of some mug throwing a punch. There's something about I like. It's so loose and captures exactly what I was going for. Plus I just love using Sharpees!
(Sharpee on scrap paper.)

Goofy Bonus #12 - Bill and Hill

After seeing Stephen Reid's (Flintlockjaw) sketch of Bill Clinton over on his blog, I decided to move this scribble up in the "Goofy Sketch" rotation. This one features the former and future presidents back in the days when Bill was first running for President. Clinton always looked like his body was too big for his features. Remember when Hillary used to wear those headbands?
Take a look at Stephen's Bill Clinton here http://flintlockjaw.blogspot.com/
(Felt tip pen on scrap paper.)

Goofy #50 - Hood

This sketch was done around '84-85 for one of the company's textbooks on Private Security. It was supposed to represent a typical hood of the era. (All the criminal element types were into heavy metal back then, weren't they?)
(Rapidograph and brush colored with design markers.)

Goofy Bonus #11 - Swipe Deux

More swipe card madness! Here's the ID badge guide I sketched for the company newsletter.
(Rapidograph pen on drawing paper, colored in Photoshop and lettered in CorelDRAW.)

Goofy Bonus #10 - Swipe

Another bonus sketch . . . LUCKY YOU! To get into our building at work, you have to use a swipe ID card. It's just about automatic that the damn things crap out when the weather is the worst. This cartoon appeared in the company newsletter about 5 years ago.
(Rapidograph pen on drawing paper and colored in Photoshop.)

Goofy #49 - Football

I know the season is over, but I did this sketch about 15 years ago for my first fantasy football league draft. Goin' old school and all that.
(Sharpee and color markers on drawing paper.)

Goofy Bonus #9 - Fishguy Deux

More fish guy nonsense. This time "The Man" sticks it to the fish guy.
(Sharpee and highlighters on scrap paper.)